Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
