Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he thought i was a dude.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
