Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
