i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I love having hate sex.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize