Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
