Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
