Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
