I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
