Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
