we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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