There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
