so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
