no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize