As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have tasted many bathrooms
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
