How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
don't judge my taste in strippers
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize