she was so not down for the gang bang
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
