Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
