Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
