Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
