Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
