just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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