Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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