Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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