I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
