Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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