You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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