yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize