well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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