Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
