I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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