I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
