i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
