i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Im part way to drunk.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
