I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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