I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
and she was petting her beer can
Farmville is her only friend.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
