there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
