help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
