____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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