R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
