yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
birth control should be required to get into college
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There r osticjed everywhere
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
