I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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