Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize