3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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