big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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