so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
