Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
