I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There's always time for handjobs
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
