it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
