I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
