Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Is Oprah even human
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
