maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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