they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
