shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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