i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
