i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
