Pants 0. Shit 1.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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