Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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