Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
