I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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