My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
