Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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