"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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