We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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