the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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